Life planning problem - I'll have nothing to leave to my family
If you have a child who will in all likelihood not be able to take care of himself or herself as an adult, or you have unfulfilled financial obligations¡ªsay college tuition to any of your children, then this is an actual problem. Otherwise this is a presenting problem, covering a poor self-image, fears of not measuring up to others, and worries of how the world will perceive you after you're gone. If this is your actual problem then it's a single problem. If this is a presenting problem it's a cluster of issues surrounding your misconceptions about inheritance and estates.
In order to look at this issue rationally you need to focus on whether or not there really is a need for you to provide for your family after your death. If there is, try to determine the extent of that need. For instance, if you need to provide for a young child's college education, you can estimate what that will cost. Or, if you need to provide a long-term income for a special needs child you can speak with a financial planner to figure out how large that income should be.
By looking at your post death obligations you narrow the issue to a finite, and solvable problem, rather than an open-ended, emotional problem of "providing" for your loved ones. Your value as a human being is determined not by the size of your estate but by the size of your heart. Provide for your family while you're alive and leave your children a legacy of love.
Once you've determined the size of your post-death obligations you need to become an expert on the financial tools that can help you meet those obligations: insurance.
A guaranteed renewable, straight term life insurance policy is, in my opinion, the best way to take care of most finite post death financial obligations. If you find out your child's college education will, when the time comes, cost you and your spouse $150,000 in parental contribution, get yourself a term life policy for that amount. If you live long enough to fulfill the obligation, then you can cancel the policy.
I believe the best way to take care of a child who may not be able to take care of himself or herself is to obtain what's called "second to die" insurance. This is a life insurance policy taken out on two lives, say you and your spouse, which only pays off after the second person dies. Because these policies cover two lives rather than one they're much cheaper than traditional policies. The concept is you assume that as long as one of the two parents are alive the child will be okay. The danger comes when both parents are dead and there's no one left to care for the needy child.
tags: life, family
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